The three key words of the family:
please, thank you,
sorry
Vatican City, 13 May 2015 (VIS) -
“Please, thank you and sorry” are the three words that Pope Francis “would
write on the door of every family home” as they are the key to living well and
in peace both inside and outside the home. They are simple words, much easier
to say than to put into practice, but “they contain great strength: the
strength of protecting the home, even through a thousand difficulties and
trials; instead, when they are lacking, cracks gradually open up that can even
lead it to collapse”.
The Pope dedicated the catechesis of
today's general audience to these three words, normally considered as the words
of politeness. “A great bishop, St. Francis of Sales, said that kindness is
halfway to holiness. However, beware”, he warned, “as in history we have also
known a formalism of good manners that can become a mask to conceal an arid
heart and lack of interest in others. … Not even religion is immune to this
risk, in which formal observance may slip into spiritual worldliness. The devil
who tempts Jesus shows off his good manners and cites the Sacred Scriptures.
His style appears correct, but his intention is to deviate from the truth of
God's love”.
The first word is “please. “To enter
into the life of another person, even when that person forms part of our life,
requires the delicacy of a non-intrusive attitude, that renews trust and
respect. Confidence, then, does not authorise us to take everything for
granted. Love, the more intimate and profound it is, the more it demands
respect for freedom and the capacity to wait for the other to open the door of
his or her heart”.
The second phrase is “thank you”.
“At times”, observed the Holy Father, “it seems that we are becoming a
civilisation of poor manners and unpleasant words. … Politeness and the
capacity to thank are seen as a sign of weakness, and at times even arouse
distrust. This tendency should be opposed within the family itself. We must
become intransigent in the education of gratitude and recognition: the dignity
of the person and social justice both come from this. If this approach is
neglected in family life, it will also be lost in social life”.
The third word is “sorry”, as “when
it is lacking, small cracks become larger … to the point of becoming deep
trenches. It is not by chance that in the prayer taught by Jesus, the Lord's
prayer that summarises all the essential questions for our life, we find the
expression 'forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against
us'. Acknowledging our errors and being willing to restore what has been
removed – respect, sincerity, love – makes one worthy of forgiveness. … If we
are not capable of apologising, it means we are not capable of forgiveness
either. … Many hurt feelings, many lesions in the family begin with the loss of
those precious words: 'I am sorry'. In married life there are many arguments …
but I advise you never to let the day end without making peace. And for this, a
small gesture is enough”.
“These three key words for the
family are simple words, and perhaps at first they make us smile. But … perhaps
our education neglects them too much. May the Lord help us to restore them to
their rightful place in our heart, in our home, and also in our civil
co-existence”.
Claire Levis Zeron and Jose Zeron, newlyweds blessed by the Pope
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