Sample Pre-Nuptial Investigation Forms

Here is a sample pre-nuptial investigation form for the Diocese of Providence:

http://uploads.weconnect.com/mce/1966e694bad90686516f99cdf432800fdca39290/Weddings/Premarital%20Investigation%20Form%202011.pdf

Here from the Diocese of Trenton, the steps for marriage from the parish point of view:

http://www.dioceseoftrenton.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/5-Parish-Guidelines-for-Preparing-Engaged-Couples-for-Marriage.pdf

Here is a sample Freedom to Marry affidavit, that relatives or friends must sign, (2 per groom, 2 per bride):

A Pope Francis audience on Family

 The three key words of the family: 

please, thank you, sorry

Vatican City, 13 May 2015 (VIS) - “Please, thank you and sorry” are the three words that Pope Francis “would write on the door of every family home” as they are the key to living well and in peace both inside and outside the home. They are simple words, much easier to say than to put into practice, but “they contain great strength: the strength of protecting the home, even through a thousand difficulties and trials; instead, when they are lacking, cracks gradually open up that can even lead it to collapse”.

The Pope dedicated the catechesis of today's general audience to these three words, normally considered as the words of politeness. “A great bishop, St. Francis of Sales, said that kindness is halfway to holiness. However, beware”, he warned, “as in history we have also known a formalism of good manners that can become a mask to conceal an arid heart and lack of interest in others. … Not even religion is immune to this risk, in which formal observance may slip into spiritual worldliness. The devil who tempts Jesus shows off his good manners and cites the Sacred Scriptures. His style appears correct, but his intention is to deviate from the truth of God's love”.

The first word is “please. “To enter into the life of another person, even when that person forms part of our life, requires the delicacy of a non-intrusive attitude, that renews trust and respect. Confidence, then, does not authorise us to take everything for granted. Love, the more intimate and profound it is, the more it demands respect for freedom and the capacity to wait for the other to open the door of his or her heart”.

The second phrase is “thank you”. “At times”, observed the Holy Father, “it seems that we are becoming a civilisation of poor manners and unpleasant words. … Politeness and the capacity to thank are seen as a sign of weakness, and at times even arouse distrust. This tendency should be opposed within the family itself. We must become intransigent in the education of gratitude and recognition: the dignity of the person and social justice both come from this. If this approach is neglected in family life, it will also be lost in social life”.

The third word is “sorry”, as “when it is lacking, small cracks become larger … to the point of becoming deep trenches. It is not by chance that in the prayer taught by Jesus, the Lord's prayer that summarises all the essential questions for our life, we find the expression 'forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us'. Acknowledging our errors and being willing to restore what has been removed – respect, sincerity, love – makes one worthy of forgiveness. … If we are not capable of apologising, it means we are not capable of forgiveness either. … Many hurt feelings, many lesions in the family begin with the loss of those precious words: 'I am sorry'. In married life there are many arguments … but I advise you never to let the day end without making peace. And for this, a small gesture is enough”.

“These three key words for the family are simple words, and perhaps at first they make us smile. But … perhaps our education neglects them too much. May the Lord help us to restore them to their rightful place in our heart, in our home, and also in our civil co-existence”.

 Claire Levis Zeron and Jose Zeron, newlyweds blessed by the Pope

Familiaris Consortio on Vocation

FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO 

POPE JOHN PAUL II

PART TWO

THE PLAN OF GOD FOR MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY

Man, the Image of the God Who Is Love

11. God created man in His own image and likeness[20]: calling him to existence through love, He called him at the same time for love.

God is love[21] and in Himself He lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in His own image and continually keeping it in being, God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion.[22] Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.

As an incarnate spirit, that is a soul which expresses itself in a body and a body informed by an immortal spirit, man is called to love in his unified totality. Love includes the human body, and the body is made a sharer in spiritual love.

Christian revelation recognizes two specific ways of realizing the vocation of the human person in its entirety, to love: marriage and virginity or celibacy. Either one is, in its own proper form, an actuation of the most profound truth of man, of his being "created in the image of God."

Consequently, sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is by no means something purely biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and a woman commit themselves totally to one another until death. The total physical self-giving would be a lie if it were not the sign and fruit of a total personal self-giving, in which the whole person, including the temporal dimension, is present: if the person were to withhold something or reserve the possibility of deciding otherwise in the future, by this very fact he or she would not be giving totally.

This totality which is required by conjugal love also corresponds to the demands of responsible fertility. This fertility is directed to the generation of a human being, and so by its nature it surpasses the purely biological order and involves a whole series of personal values. For the harmonious growth of these values a persevering and unified contribution by both parents is necessary.

The only "place" in which this self-giving in its whole truth is made possible is marriage, the covenant of conjugal love freely and consciously chosen, whereby man and woman accept the intimate community of life and love willed by God Himself[23] which only in this light manifests its true meaning. The institution of marriage is not an undue interference by society or authority, nor the extrinsic imposition of a form. Rather it is an interior requirement of the covenant of conjugal love which is publicly affirmed as unique and exclusive, in order to live in complete fidelity to the plan of God, the Creator. A person's freedom, far from being restricted by this fidelity, is secured against every form of subjectivism or relativism and is made a sharer in creative Wisdom.

Marriage and Communion Between God and People

12. The communion of love between God and people, a fundamental part of the Revelation and faith experience of Israel, finds a meaningful expression in the marriage covenant which is established between a man and a woman.

For this reason the central word of Revelation, "God loves His people," is likewise proclaimed through the living and concrete word whereby a man and a woman express their conjugal love. Their bond of love becomes the image and the symbol of the covenant which unites God and His people.[24] And the same sin which can harm the conjugal covenant becomes an image of the infidelity of the people to their God: idolatry is prostitution,[25] infidelity is adultery, disobedience to the law is abandonment of the spousal love of the Lord. But the infidelity of Israel does not destroy the eternal fidelity of the Lord, and therefore the ever faithful love of God is put forward as the model of the of faithful love which should exist between spouses.[26]

[20] Cf. Gn 1: 26-27.
[21] 1 Jn 4: 8.
[22] Cf. Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World Gaudium et spes, 12.
[23] Ibid., 48.
[24] Cf. e.g. Hos, 2: 21; Jer 3: 6-13; Is 54.
[25] Cf. Ez 16: 25.
[26] Cf. Hos 3.

The wife - the radiant sun of the family

An address by Pope Pius XII to newly married couples

The wife - the radiant sun of the family

The family is illuminated by its own radiant sun, which is the wife. Of her Scripture says, with feeling:

The grace of a wife will charm her husband,her accomplishments will make him the stronger.

A silent wife is a gift from the Lord, no price can be put on a well-trained character.

A modest wife is a boon twice over,a chaste character cannot be weighed on scales. 

 

 

 

Like the sun rising over the mountains of the Lord is the beauty of a good wife in a well-kept house.

The wife and mother is indeed like the sun shining in the family. She shines by her generosity and the way she gives herself to others. She shines by her alertness and watchfulness and by her wise and gentle providing of all that can give joy to her husband and children. She radiates light and warmth.

A marriage will prosper if each partner goes into it not for his own happiness but the other’s happiness – but although it belongs to both partners, this emotion, this goal is particularly a quality of the woman. Her very nature as a mother entails it. Her wisdom and prudence mean that even if she encounters troubles she will respond to them with joy; if she is belittled, she will respond with unaltered dignity and respect. She is like the sun that brightens a cloudy morning with the dawn; the sun that illuminates the shower-clouds at dusk.

The wife is like the sun shining in the family with the brightness of her glance and the ardour of her speech. Her looks and words enter into the souls of her family, softening them, touching them, raising them up from the tumult of emotion. They recall her husband to joy in good things and delight in family life after his uninterrupted and often heavy work of the day, whether in an office, in the fields, in trade or in industry.

The wife is like the sun shining in the family by her unforced, transparent sincerity, by her simple dignity, by her decent Christian behaviour; by her inward thoughts and her upright heart; and also by the appropriateness of her dress and bearing, adorned by her open and honest way of life. Subtle signs of feeling, shades of expression, silences and unmalicious smiles, little nods of approval – all these give her the grace of an exquisite but simple flower opening its petals to reflect the colours of sunlight.

If only you could know the full depth of the feelings of love and gratitude that such a perfect wife and mother inspires in her husband and children!

Definition of Marriage in Canon Law

Code of Canon Law  TITLE VII.

MARRIAGE (Canons 1055 - 1165)

definitions and preliminaries, canons 1055 to 1062 

Can.  1055 §1. The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring, has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized.

§2. For this reason, a valid matrimonial contract cannot exist between the baptized without it being by that fact a sacrament.

Can.  1056 The essential properties of marriage are unity and indissolubility, which in Christian marriage obtain a special firmness by reason of the sacrament.

Can.  1057 §1. The consent of the parties, legitimately manifested between persons qualified by law, makes marriage; no human power is able to supply this consent.

§2. Matrimonial consent is an act of the will by which a man and a woman mutually give and accept each other through an irrevocable covenant in order to establish marriage.

Can.  1058 All persons who are not prohibited by law can contract marriage.

Can.  1059 Even if only one party is Catholic, the marriage of Catholics is governed not only by divine law but also by canon law, without prejudice to the competence of civil authority concerning the merely civil effects of the same marriage.

Can.  1060 Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is proven.

Can.  1061 §1. A valid marriage between the baptized is called ratum tantum if it has not been consummated; it is called ratum et consummatum if the spouses have performed between themselves in a human fashion a conjugal act which is suitable in itself for the procreation of offspring, to which marriage is ordered by its nature and by which the spouses become one flesh.

§2. After a marriage has been celebrated, if the spouses have lived together consummation is presumed until the contrary is proven.

§3. An invalid marriage is called putative if at least one party celebrated it in good faith, until both parties become certain of its nullity.

Can.  1062 §1. A promise of marriage, whether unilateral or bilateral, which is called an engagement, is governed by the particular law established by the conference of bishops, after it has considered any existing customs and civil laws.

§2. A promise to marry does not give rise to an action to seek the celebration of marriage; an action to repair damages, however, does arise if warranted.